Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Drunk is not a location!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
