please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
