Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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