We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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