Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
