I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
