just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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