hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize