im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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