You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
