I can tuck mytits in my pants
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
