i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
