Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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