I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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