I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
porn star boner night. come get it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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