Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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