Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
