i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize