But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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