she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
