I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
