is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My vagina is officially offended.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
