Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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