i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
