Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
