im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am mentally ready for anal.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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