im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize