you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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