She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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