Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
