rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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