You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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