i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
