I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
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She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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