As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
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He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think your dad took our porno
don't judge my taste in strippers
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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