I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
