Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
