i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Fuck appropriateness.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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