And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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