Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
