My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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