I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
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Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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