I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Two words: blizzard sex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
