girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
