shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
