I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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