your room smells of hookers.
And success
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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