So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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