my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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