gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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