I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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