Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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