i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize