My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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