so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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