Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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