my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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