he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
