I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
