wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i would one night stand the shit outta him
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
