You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!