It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
