By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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