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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.

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• (818): View more from California

  Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.

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• (+33): View more from France

  She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Regretting asking you what you were doing.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.

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