It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
