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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it

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• (949): View more from California

  this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head

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  23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high

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• (805): View more from California

  You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.

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  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.

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• (707): View more from California

  We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!

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