I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
