mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
