i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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